You consider yourself a cut above the average soldier, and you need something that celebrates that, something that's shiny and gaudy and will definitely get you spotted and swiftly killed on the battlefield.
That's why we here at Lucious-Zero Arms™ are delighted to bring you the new gold plated TT-33, complete with slide skull engravings (that give you no tactical advantage whatsoever), a stock white grip with the option of an upgraded pearl grip at a later date, and a few other details you'll have to spot for yourself when you get your hands on this beautiful and completely excessive piece of Russian engineering.